And the Record Won't Stop Skipping
by Wounded Shell Of Myself
Summary: After breaking his leg in a bike injury, things begin to look down for 17 year old Stan. Even long after his recovery, he battles a series of struggles that lead to Depression and a disorder that could cost him his life. Can he make it? NON SLASH
1. Crashing Again

CHAPTER 1:

CRASHING AGAIN

I remember the day it happened. The day my whole life changed completely. One little incident, just one, made my life take a 180-turn, in a way I'd never imagine. The very beginning of my story and the very end almost have nothing to do with each other. But one thing leads to another, and then that next thing leads to something else, and then the next thing you know, you're at a point in your life that you never thought you'd be at.

It was an unusually warm day in November, which is strange for South Park, considering that snow usually covers the streets in thick blankets during this time of year. But not on this day—today, the sun was out and the grass was green, and not a flake of snow was within a fifty-mile radius. I was sixteen years old when it happened, which was not necessarily a good time of my life.

I guess things could have been worse; I know they were definitely better than middle school, but still...I didn't get picked on anymore (I was well-liked in elementary school but middle school was a whole different story), but I still battled a few demons. I still fought my battle with depression that I had had since I was twelve, and Chef's death still plagued me from time to time, even though it happened several years ago. I had a little bit of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which I had developed in the sixth grade, but at least I wasn't chained to a sink or obsessing over every little detail in my everyday life anymore. My friends and I seemed to drift a little but, I don't know why exactly, but we just didn't have what we used to have as children.

We all sort of drifted apart...I mean, I still hung out with Kyle, Kenny, and even Cartman on a regular basis, but there was just something missing...something that used to be there but wasn't anymore. Maybe it was my fault, because I had drifted from my family as well. I was never close with my sister, Shelley, but I used to get along with my parents. Then, once I got into middle school, it seemed like all we ever did was fight. Over school, or a fight I had with Shelley, or my life habits—everything. What better explanation could there be? I was drifting apart from everyone I knew.

Things changed once I hit middle school, but that warm day in November was the one that completely changed things. It landed me where I am right now...and I wish I weren't here. No, my life was not picture-perfect during middle or high school, but after awhile, I had grown accustomed to it and I was OK. It was all OK. Until that day.

I was riding bikes with Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman—I know, sixteen-year-olds usually don't ride their bikes anymore, but we didn't have our drivers' licenses yet (we were close), so to the pass the time, we rode our bikes. There's not really much to do in South Park, Colorado. Anyways, I was riding with my friends, and we rode up a small hill. I was not paying much attention to where I was going—the other three were having a conversation, and I was just off in my own little world, as usual. I was pulled out of my world when I heard Kyle yell, "STAN, LOOK OUT!"

We were going downhill, and the next thing I knew, I hit a big branch at rapid speed and went flying over the handlebars. I landed smack on my leg and skidded down a few feet as I felt a bone snap. I was sure my leg was broken, it was just that hard of a fall. I grabbed my leg and closed my eyes as the pain shot through my body. I opened my eyes and clenched my teeth as I saw Kyle and Kenny hopping off their bikes and rushing to my side. Cartman stood behind with a grin on his face and amusement in his voice as he laughed hysterically.

--A/N: I KNOW THIS CHAPTER IS SHORT, BUT IT IS JUST AN INTRODUCTION, THE NEXT CHAPTERS WILL BE LONGER AND JUICIER. I DON'T KNOW HOW GREAT THE FORMAT WILL BE SINCE THIS SITE IS NOT VERY APPLE-FRIENDLY BUT I WILL TRY MY BEST. MAYBE THE NEXT A/N WON'T HAVE TO BE IN ALL-CAPS...ANYWAYS, I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS AND THE NEXT CHAPTER IS COMING SOON:D -- 


	2. A Weighted Decision

**DISCLAIMER:** _South Park belongs to Matt Stone and Trey Parker...and to be honest, they'd probably slap me if they read this fic and of what is to come, lol._

**CHAPTER 2:**

**A WEIGHTED DECISION**

Six long months. Six very long months. From November to May I was cooped up in my house. And all because of a broken leg. It was a bad break though, because when I flew over the handlebars, I landed it on it funny and broke it in two places, so they had to use pins and shit to fix it and I was in a cast for six long months. I went to school and occasionally to Kyle's house but other than that, I was at home. It was hard to "walk" with my crutches, mainly because my underarms were so sore. So I just spent most of my time on the couch.

It wasn't really fun. Mom and I were really down each other's throats the whole time. We fought about all kinds of stuff, mainly over her little momentary annoyances. She gave me a lot of crap for loafing around the place, but I wasn't doing any harm. Going upstairs to my room was difficult (not impossible, just difficult), and besides, I had no TV in there. Mainly, though, I just had a hard time getting up there. So I just camped out in the living room for six months. Usually I just watched TV, but when nothing good was on, I'd either watch a DVD or do homework or something just to pass the time. Sometimes Kyle would hang out with me, but there wasn't a whole lot to do. I was always bored. At first, I welcomed the thought of just lying around all day and being lazy, but it grew old.

Unfortunately, I ate a lot too. Sometimes, when you have nothing to do and can barely move, eating is just what you do. I didn't burn of it off either, since I obviously couldn't ride my bike or walk Sparky or anything, so I just ate and it showed. I'm only five-foot-six, and I weighed 150 before my accident, which is normal, but I went up to 180 in those six months. I couldn't believe it. I mean, yeah, I did the eating and I paid the price for it, but I had never had a weight problem before. My eating habits and weight never really phased me, it was never a concern. Now, I was about thirty pounds overweight, and I just didn't like it. I thought it strange that I was worrying about it, because most men don't even think about their weight, but still...I had let myself go and it just did not feel good.

I remember the first time I tried to ride my bike again after I got my cast off. It wasn't that I couldn't do it, it was just that my leg was stiff and I could only go very slowly. I was also a little wobbly at first. And of course, Cartman was on my case, since he hadn't grown up at all in the past eight years.

"Damn, Stan, that's pathetic," he said with a sneer as I wobbled on my bike.

"Shut up," said Kyle as he shot a glare towards him.

"Well I'm just saying, you're seventeen years old and can't...oh God!" He then started laughing. "You can't even ride a bike!" God, would he ever grow up?

"Grow the fuck up," I said as I continued to push on, without any luck. The ride was so inconsistent...my good leg would push down the pedal and it would be a good push, then the other leg would push that pedal and the bike would begin to tip ever so slightly until I pushed the other pedal with my good leg again.

" Oh, this is just too good!" Cartman stopped his bike and held his hand to his forehead. "This is too funny!" He continued to laugh as I stepped off my bike.

"Dude, I don't start the physical therapy until Friday. So act seventeen for once in your life and lay off the insults," I said with a stern voice. He just continued to laugh.

"Dude, that's not cool," said Kyle with a hint of annoyance in his tone.

"You do need to grow up," said Kenny. He had stayed quiet through most of this little scene, it was nice to hear him speak up.

"Look, this wasn't a good idea, my leg is still too weak," I said as I stepped off my bike. I leaned on it as I began to walk home. "I'm gonna go home." I looked over at Cartman, who was still laughing. "Don't forget to remind your mother to change your diaper when you get in." With that, I headed home. Part of me would have liked to stay, only because I don't want Cartman to think he could get to me or anything like that, but my leg was starting to hurt and I just didn't feel like dealing with it in addition to his badgering. Luckily, we hadn't ridden too far from my house, so I was able to walk my bike back home. I couldn't handle riding, but walking was not as bad. It still felt kinda funny to do it, my leg was quite weak, but at least I was mobile.

When I arrived home, I put my bike in the garage and went in. Luckily, Shelley and Mom were out, and this was one of the weekends that Dad was scheduled to work, so I had the house all to myself. I let Sparky in and took some pain medicine for my leg, than lied on the couch. Nothing was on, so I put on one of my Terrance and Phillip DVDs. It was so nice to be alone...to just relax in my own home, without anybody around to criticize or bother me. Sparky was laying right under the couch, so I stroked him while I watched TV. I remember when I first got him, I tried to "ungay" him. Now I was like he used to be...I always had people criticizing me and trying to change me. Now I knew how Sparky had felt. Now, Sparky was nine. He was old and happy, still the same dog he was eight years ago. His fur still felt short but soft underneath my fingertips, and it was relaxing to stroke him like this. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.

The next day, I decided to give the bike thing another try. I knew that it probably would not go well, especially since it was only Sunday and my therapy appointment wasn't until Friday afternoon, but I just hated the fact that I couldn't ride it the day before. I climbed up on my bike and kicked up the kickstand, then began to pedal. Still wobbly. For about an hour, I just rode out there, wobbling with each and every inch I pedaled. My leg was still pretty weak. I tried like that for two more weeks, and I just didn't improve. Not even after I attended a couple of therapy sessions. I mean, I knew I wouldn't be as good as I used to be right away, but I should have improved a least a little bit...at least I thought so. I had no clue why. Then, one afternoon, I went back into my house after another unsuccessful ride, and it just hit me.

"You can't ride your bike anymore, turd," Shelley taunted as she sat on the couch, watching TV. "You're too fat."

Normally, I would not believe such a thing, especially if it came from Shelley, but as much as I hated to say it, she was right. I stood on the stairs, deep in thought. That must have been why I could no longer ride a bike, even after weeks of trying. I mean, what better explanation? My leg stayed weak because of all the extra weight it had to carry. That had to be it. I needed to lose that weight...I mean, I didn't wanna be like a girl about it. I was worried that going on a diet was a little too...girly. I mean, I didn't care what people thought about me, but still, something just worried me about going on a diet. I'm a guy, I shouldn't care about weight, and to top it off, it never bothered me before. I then looked down at my stomach and grabbed my gut. I had to get rid of this, it couldn't have been good for me, and if I couldn't do the things I used to be able to do, then that was even more reason to lose weight.

I quickly paused my thoughts as I hobbled up the stairs and into my room. My decision was made. I was going to lose the weight.

* * *

**A/N: **_Alright, that's chapter two, took a little while to write because I wanted to make sure I did it the right way, but it's done. Now things are starting to roll and there's a lot more to come. Thanks to 81tch and PP. Bunny for their kind reviews. :D More to come soon, take care._


	3. Losing It All

**DISCLAIMER: **_I do not own South Park, the show belongs to the two satirical geniuses of our time, Matt Stone and Trey Park._

**CHAPTER 3:**

**LOSING IT ALL**

It had been three months since that day on the stairs, when I had decided to lose some weight. It was now August, and I had lost twenty pounds over the summer. I didn't do a whole lot, I just basically restricted my intake of fat, calories, and sugar. It was hard because I also stopped eating meat again quite awhile ago, so there wasn't much that I felt comfortable eating, but I couldn't let myself stay the way that I was. I couldn't live in that body anymore.

I would also ride my bike or walk Sparky when the weather permitted, and that helped too. Riding my bike was still difficult at first, but after a few sessions of physical therapy, my leg wasn't so weak anymore and I could ride again. Of course, I still rode alone, just because I was riding more for exercise instead of leisure, and I doubted my friends (only being Kyle and Kenny. Honestly, I still don't even know why we still hang out with Cartman) would want to ride for so long or at a faster speed. Mainly, though, I didn't want them to know about my little "diet." I wished I didn't care what they thought of it, especially since I usually really didn't care what others thought of me, but the thought of anyone knowing about my diet made me nervous.

Guys don't go on diets. At least not hardcore ones. My friends would probably think I was getting a little too "girly" over my weight and that just made me uncomfortable. I knew that I wasn't and I wasn't afraid that I might have been gay or anything, but something just made me very uncomfortable about them knowing about the diet. I mean, people knew that I was losing weight, and that wasn't the problem, I just didn't want people to know how hard I was trying. I wanted it to appear like the broken leg weight just kinda fell off me.

My friends would tell me that I looked good, but to be honest, I was a little confused. I really couldn't see a difference. I mean, I still had ten more pounds to lose, but I couldn't see a difference. I looked the same as I had when I weighed 180. I didn't understand why, but I just didn't see any difference. So how did everyone else see it?

I did manage to lose five more pounds by the end of the summer, but even then, I still saw no difference. I was only five pounds above my normal weight, yet I looked so much bigger. It made no sense. I also had a few stretch marks on my stomach, that didn't help either. I was not happy with the way I looked, but part of me didn't care anymore. I lost the weight, I was healthy again, and after I lost those five pounds I would never have to deal with weight loss and the discomfort of it ever again.

Because I was so wrapped up in losing weight, unfortunately, I did not see much of my friends over the summer. But it wasn't a big deal to me, I would see them again. And again, I just wasn't comfortable with them knowing about my diet. Especially Cartman—shit, I would never hear the end of it if he knew. But it all worked out; my friends were busy and so was I, so we just didn't hang out that much. Shit happens. Once I lose those five pounds, I would be over this diet shit and go back to my normal life. It was just a temporary thing.

I tried to spend the last week of summer with my friends, but things still weren't quite right. I remember one particular day when me, Kenny, Kyle, and Cartman were just loitering around the mall. Unfortunately, we couldn't get a hold of any fireworks or explosives, and there wasn't very much to do in South Park, so we just loitered around the mall a lot. It got to the point where we didn't even go into the stores because we had seen everything in every store (well, not every store, but close to it), so we would just walk around and hang in the food court or in the arcade. Sometimes I'd hang with the goth kids if they were there, even though Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman really didn't like them. I was still friends with them, I wasn't depressed like they were, but we were still cool.

Anyways, on this particular day, I was at the mall with my friends, just hanging around. The four of us were in the food court. Kyle and Kenny were snacking on ice cream cones and of course, Cartman had three and was scarfing them down like an Ethiopian at a free buffet. Determined to lose those five more pounds, I had nothing and just sat there and watched them.

"Dude, this ice cream's really creamy today, you gotta try some," said Kyle as he bit into the cone.

"Nah, I had a big breakfast, not really hungry," I said. I didn't lie though, I really wasn't hungry. Even though I would usually have an ice cream anyways, I knew that once I lost those five pounds I could get back to my normal eating habits.

"Dude, thanks for covering me, I owe ya one," Kenny said to Kyle, referring to the ice cream. Kenny's family was still pretty broke, so we usually had to cover for him when we did anything involving money. Kyle and I didn't mind, because Kenny was our friend, but Cartman had his own feelings on it.

"That's what you always say but you're always too broke to pay us back," taunted Cartman. I swear, you'd a thunk he'd grown up at least _a little bit_ in the past eight years.

"Dude, he doesn't have to pay us back," snapped Kyle. "Part of being a friend is helping your friend out, but you wouldn't know a damn thing about that since all you care about is how many ice cream cones you can shove in your fat face at once!"

_Here they go again, _I thought. _We really need to stop hanging out with Cartman. _I just continued staring at the plastic table in front of me, noticing its grainy texture. I did that often, because a lot of times I had nothing to contribute to my friends' conversations, so I just blanked out and stared at whatever was in front of me. Besides, I've been watching Kyle and Cartman fight since I was five. It's like watching the worst _Maury Povich _rerun over and over again.

"Hey guys!" a voice said, interrupting my thoughts. It was Julie, Kenny's girlfriend. I didn't know her very well, but I did know that whenever she showed up, Kenny would disappear.

"Hey babe," Kenny said as he hurriedly finished his last few bites. "Hey guys, I'm gonna go hang with her a little bit, but I'll hit you back." With that, Kenny got up and the two left. I never said anything to him about it, but it always made me feel bad that Kenny seemed to put his girlfriend before me and Kyle. I mean, I understand that when someone gets a boyfriend or girlfriend that they want to spend a lot of time with them, but it's not fair for that person to blow their friends off for the significant other. Kenny was nowhere near as bad as some people were, because at least he still made time for us, but we still barely saw him. And whenever we did, it was only for a short while because he would eventually leave to see his girlfriend.

Maybe I was overreacting. The only girlfriend I ever had was Wendy, but that was when I was nine, so things could only get so serious. Plus, that was the age when girls still had cooties, so it was unacceptable to spend too much time with a girl. Thus, I had no _real_ experience. Plus, over the summer I spent so much time losing weight that my friends probably felt the same way. I don't know.

My thoughts were interrupted when Kyle's cellphone went off. "Hey Mom... Oh crap! Is he OK?... Do you need me to watch Ike while you take him to the emergency room?... OK, I'll be home soon... Bye." Kyle turned off his phone.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Dad fell down the stairs and has to go to the emergency room, and Mom still thinks Ike is too young to stay home alone," said Kyle.

"Isn't he like, eleven?" Cartman asked.

"Yeah," said Kyle as he stood up and pushed his chair in. "I've got to go, though. I'll see you later."

"Bye," I said as Kyle left. I turned over to Cartman. He finished his last ice cream cone and stood up.

"Hey, you're a pussy, I'm not hanging out with you," he said as he began to leave.

"Good, because you're an asshole and I don't want to hang out with you either," I snapped back. I was so sick of him.

"Good. Bye!" he said, walking off.

"Go kill yourself," I muttered, loud enough for no one to hear. I continued to sit at the table. Kenny ditched us, Kyle had an emergency, and Cartman was just an ass. Now I was sitting here alone in a mall, surrounded by food I couldn't eat and stores I couldn't stand to be in. _Oh well,_ I thought, as I stood up and went home.

* * *

_Hey guys, sorry for the LOOOONG wait, but I'm in college and teachers show no mercy when it comes to homework._

_I'll try to get better about my updating habits since I am on summer break, but I can't make any promises, especially since I'm about to start a Death Note fic as well. But I've had this story on the drawing board for four years now (it was originally going to be for another show but I decided since I liked South Park best, it would be for South Park), so I've got to finish it!_

_You guys will need to keep me motivated, or at least nag the hell out of me, so I'll need a lot of reviews! :D _

_Thanks for reading, and hopefully I'll update again soon._


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